Why you get paid less than others

I was having lunch with a good friend of mine last week. He was telling me about his recent meeting with his boss, where he asked for a pay rise. What led to this request, was my friend's feeling that his market worth was higher than his current pay, the rising inflations rates and his ambition to reach financial freedom by the age of 55.
The outcome: he got a pay rise. On the spot. Even though his last pay rise was only 12 months ago.

Wow, I thought, this story is very different from conversations I have had with others (especially women) around money and pay rise. Mostly, I hear a lot of frustration, especially if they haven't gotten a payrise in several years, or if they feel underpaid, or if their earnings does not reflect their loyalty, expertise and value. 

Even when we feel this way, not many of us knock on the boss's door and say: "I would like more money, please". 

Why not, actually?

A fear of being turned down? and having our fears confirmed that maybe we don't generate much value to justify a raise after all?

The same old argument that women don't negotiate as well as men? (there is enough research out there which have blown this argument out of the water. It found that women negotiate just as well as men - but not on their own behalf). 

It could be for the simplest possible reason: we don’t get what you don’t ask for.

If you want a pay rise - ask for one.

If you don't know what your market worth is - search a number of salary guides to get an idea for the current average pay of your role.

If you feel uncomfortable to negotiate - pretend you are negotiating on behalf of your best friend.

If you are worried about being turned down - you won't know unless your ask.

Until all organisations have adequate and fair HR practices around pay, the simplest way to ensure you get paid what you feel you deserve, is to ask for what you want.

Knowing what we want and asking for it, is the highest form of self-empowerment.